He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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