I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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