It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
