so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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