He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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