I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
