You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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