the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
