Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
