So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
