He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Can you bring me the toilet please
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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