I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My bed smells like the plague
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
