I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
