Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize