why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
