So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
