I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize