his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
