I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
