Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.