Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late