dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
