I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
