so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
