she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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