Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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