His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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