At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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