apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
