i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
