He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
