my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
there is glitter all over my balls
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
