So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize