I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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