It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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