I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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