absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize