Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
