i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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