Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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