I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This is the high leading the old right now
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
