So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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