4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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