So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
