I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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