i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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