I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
