guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
