he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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