I didn't shave. On purpose
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I will be naked everywhere
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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