I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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