Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
