this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
