He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She told me I should be a condom model.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
