We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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