You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
