You're a womanizer and a bitch.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
