i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
