winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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