Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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