Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
